Bangin my head on the desk...

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein

i have been looking at the SAME reports ALL DAY and i'm right where i started off...

Lonely in a room full of people...

i'm really not sure what happened last night... was supposed to be a great night... started out really excited but somewhere that excitement dwindled down to nothing. i feel kinda bad bc my friend that i went out with was trying to get me to dance and have fun. i just couldn't get into it. i just kept looking around at everyone and realized that i felt lonely in a room full of people... i'm finding that i feel like this a lot lately... even with the close friends/family that i have, i feel like i'm all alone at times. nobody truly knows me... my innermost thoughts, feelings, and ponderings have always been just that, innermost... i think that's why i haven't really devoted any time to this blog since starting it. i've always been such a private person. is it possible to be introverted and the center of attention at the same time? i just feel so stuck sometimes...

The beginning...

so i've decided to give this blogging thing a try. i feel like i need an outlet for all the things that are rolling around in my head... maybe if i can get them down on "paper" it will help to clear my mind and get me refocused... feel like i've been all over the place lately, good and bad. not going to bother with any background info bc i feel like everything that needs to be known will inevitably come out as i blog... really need to be in the bed right now, ugh work... gonna call it a night, just wanted to get this thing cracking...